Expectations versus agreements…
So… I expect you to do this, behave like this, say this, smile like this, react as such and to expect that I expect from you expectations, which if you fail to uphold will be really unexpected for me…
Now what kind of bullshit is this? ;)
And to know that I have lived like this the first 20 years of my life…
It was during a cold winter night, our relationship was slowly starting to form new threads..
In the midst of the conversation, I said something like «In our relationship I will be this and that & I expect you to open up too»…
To which my magician replied how expectations lead to nowhere & is like a brick wall that you form around yourself, living in illusions.
She then proceeded in explaining to me the power of agreements versus the ones of expectations.
Where instead of secretly expecting a person to behave a certain way, putting all your card and feelings upon something you have created in your own mind, that the other probably doesn’t even have the slightest clue about.
Instead of that, say it at loud, let the other person know, create a mutual agreement, where each one knows what the other one is thinking and worrying about.
It’s so much easier to live like that, it’s like 25 kg off your shoulders, literally… You liberate a huge amount of stress, worries and thought conflicts… As a result you become more balanced and at peace with yourself, instead of that mind battle that happened in your head so frequently…
And this little tool combined with the act of creating opportunities, combined in one method is like dynamite ;)
I mean seriously just think about it. Here’s an example…
Old conflicting way:
Instead of me expecting you to open up and be your true self and me getting angry each time you don’t, frustrated with myself, angry with my expectations, in conflict with my thoughts, worried about our relationship, afraid of my shortcomings.
The transition to peace:
I simply state at loud, in our relationship, you can be open and sincere and be your true self.
The action and peace of mind:
I then go ahead and create an atmosphere and opportunities for you to open up, without forcing anything, without getting angry at anyone, without a single thought of expectations…
And it works…
This is not some sort of manipulation trick, this is not some mind behaving structure, this is nothing to do with ego-centric wishes and desires, in fact this has nothing to do with any of these things…
This is trust, this is understanding, this is compassion, this is friendship, this is higher level of energy, this is peace, this is love…
With love and gratitude,
Askar
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